


Things We Never Say

by thekatthatbarks



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Light Angst, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/pseuds/thekatthatbarks
Summary: Sometimes, Sakura wished her hands weren’t so rough, so calloused. She knew exactly how hard to grab something for it to break. How easy things were to shatter with a flick of her fingers. She wished the calculations didn’t run through her head every time she reached out for something, for someone.Sakura was a medic, a healer. But people never understood the hardness of that either. She wasn’t the medic who soothed crying children who’d fallen and scrapped their knees. She was a battle medic, dragging a bloodied body across the ground and yelling at them to hold on for her. Her teeth cut gauze and her hands forced bones back into place. She healed people but it was through blood and tears, muffled screams and dilated eyes.She wished she knew how to hold things lightly. There were some things she was terrified of breaking. Whether it be from an honest misstep or simply because she could.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 35
Kudos: 308





	Things We Never Say

Sakura had never been a soft woman. Maybe a soft girl – _well, that had all been for show, hadn’t it?_ Her words had always been sharp even before her hand was steady with a kunai. She’d never been soft. She’d been caring and she hoped loving, but never _soft_. 

She could still hear her mother’s voice sometimes, telling her she didn’t have to be such a _rough_ woman. That she didn’t have to take after Tsunade in every sense of the woman. But Sakura had been all edges long before she’d even met her mentor. She’d only taught her how to sharpen them, to use them for her will. Assured her there was nothing wrong with her.

But sometimes, Sakura wished her hands weren’t so rough, so _calloused_. She knew exactly how hard to grab something for it to break. How easy things were to shatter with a flick of her fingers. She wished the calculations didn’t run through her head every time she reached out for something, for someone.

Sakura was a medic, a _healer_. But people never understood the hardness of that either. She wasn’t the medic who soothed crying children who’d fallen and scrapped their knees. She was a battle medic, dragging a bloodied body across the ground and yelling at them to hold on for her. Her teeth cut gauze and her hands forced bones back into place. She healed people but it was through blood and tears, muffled screams and dilated eyes.

The closest she ever got to the opposite was on a training field with her team, healing ribs she’d just broken and deep cuts. Sometimes she liked to think she was gentle there, but she knew she wasn’t. Her grips dug into skin and her tongue lashed out. They appreciated her all the same, loved her all the same. But sometimes... Sakura wished she knew how to be soft.

She wished she knew how to hold things lightly. There were some things she was terrified of breaking. Whether it be from an honest misstep or simply because she could.

***

Sakura hated herself sometimes, past mistakes haunting her and making her wonder if she’d already fucked up her life by the age of twenty-two.

She thought about Naruto, about Sasuke, about words she should’ve said and ones she should’ve kept to herself. She thought about how she’d chased after the wrong guy for years, about a manipulative confession she’d spilled out on to pure snow to taint it.

She buried her face into her knees as she hugged her legs tightly to her. The training ground was a wreck around her, the earth broken and raised, trees snapped with their carcasses dismembered across the field. Even all these years later, she could still hear his voice in her head, that knowing look in his eyes.

_“Sakura, you don’t love me,” Sasuke told her quietly, poking the diamond seal on her forehead._

_Sakura laughed, her chest tight. “Sasuke, don’t - I’ve always - “_

_He smiled at her; it was small but still there with a lace of affection on his lips. “Not like that. Stop pretending, Sakura. It hasn’t been me in a long time. Let it go.”_

_Sakura felt tears burning at her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She denied it, her heart a heavy weight in her chest, and reached out for his sleeve. “Sasuke, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_Sasuke leaned closer towards her and told her in a soft voice, “Yes, you do.”_

_Then, he left._

Sakura was crying by the time Ino and them stumbled upon her. She didn’t look up when she felt them enter the field, nor when feet walked over to the tree she was sitting at. “Sakura?”

It was Ino’s voice and Sakura simply shook her head, refusing to look up. There was a silent moment and then Ino was telling her team, “I’ll catch up with you guys. Head over to the next field. Not like we can use this one anyway.” The guys were quiet as they left, not crowding her, or overwhelming her with words of comfort that she wouldn’t even hear.

Ino sat down beside her and then there was a hand on her back, rubbing up and down. They’d gotten over their stupid childhood rivalry years ago, but they were rarely _soft_ with each other. It made Sakura’s throat feel like it was going to close and cut off the air to her lungs. Her voice was steady as it came out, but it wasn’t like it mattered, Ino wouldn’t be fooled. “Ino, go train with your team.”

Ino ignored her and leaned her head close to hers, asking her quietly, “Sakura, what’s wrong?”

Sakura’s hand went to her hair, twisting the strands around her fingers and pulling them painfully. She didn’t know why the question broke her, but it did, and her chest started to shake. The steady stream of tears down her face turned hot and Sakura felt like she couldn’t breathe. She was barely audible as she answered, “I’ve lost him.”

Ino was pulling her close and her face away from her knee as she tried to cajole her into her lap. “Oh, Sakura, no, you haven't.”

Sakura nodded and let Ino pull her into her arms. She pressed her face against Ino’s shoulder. “I have. I’ve just – I've ruined – I'm not enough. I don’t deserve him; I don’t deserve it.”

She continued to ramble as Ino shushed her, hands rubbing up and down her arms. She eventually got the words out because she was tired of people _assuming_. Tired of pitiful looks and sympathetic words that she deserved but not for the reason they thought. “It’s not about - “

“I know.”

Sakura relaxed at her voice, both wanting to explain and not to. She was glad the choice was taken from her. Ino knew, maybe she’d always known just like Sasuke had. Maybe Sakura was an idiot, and everyone knew, no one buying the act she’d put on.

Sakura felt broken when she asked her helplessly, “What do I do?”

“Try.”

***

Naruto looked at her tiredly when he opened the door, but he had a smile on his face that made her heart squeeze. “Sakura-chan? Something wrong?”

Sakura shook her head and raised an eyebrow at him. His clothes were disheveled and his hair was messier than usual. “Were you sleeping?”

He laughed and opened the door wider for her to come in. “Yeah. I went to bed late last night.”

Sakura stepped inside as she asked him, “Oh yeah? What were you doing?”

“Studying,” he said the word like it was bitter in his mouth and Sakura chuckled. She knew he hated it, that letters started to move around the longer he read. But he rarely complained about it outside of a joke. He’d always worked hard for his dreams and this wasn’t any different.

Naruto smiled at her and then glanced around his apartment. He leaned against the wall beside her, blocking her view of the mess of his room. Sakura rolled her eyes at him, _like she didn’t already know_. “Let me get changed and then I’ll take you to breakfast.”

He never phrased it like a date, he hadn’t in years and Sakura ignored that familiar pain in her chest.

Sakura caught his wrist before he could turn away. “Actually, I wanted to ask you about something first.”

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her. “Yeah?”

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek, trying to think of how to phrase it without it sounding rude. “I was thinking, what if you got a new apartment?”

A mix of emotions clouded his eyes and he looked away from her and to his tiny apartment. “Sakura, I…”

“I don’t want you to think – I just feel like you deserve something a little bigger. I know you can afford it and – well, it’s okay if you don’t _want_ to, I just thought – “

Naruto thankfully cut off her rambling with a nervous smile as his eyes went back to her. “Okay.”

Sakura looked at him in surprise. “Okay?”

He rubbed the back of his head with a shrug. “Yeah, about time I moved on, don’t you think?”

Sakura chuckled and waved a hand. “Well, yeah.” She watched his smile become more genuine for a moment and then asked him, “You’re sure? I don’t want you to feel like I pressured you.”

Naruto put a hand on her shoulder, his eyes warm. “You didn’t, you were just looking out for me like you always do.”

Sakura smiled back but it felt strained and she was thankful when he turned towards his closet. _Did she? She hoped she did, but she felt like she failed a lot of the times._

She wondered over to the small coffee pot Naruto had in his kitchen. He never drank coffee and Sakura liked to tease him he was just as insane as Lee if he could wake up early with so much energy. She wondered why he even kept it but shrugged it off as she made herself a cup.

Naruto came up behind her a moment later, a hand on her hip as he groaned. “I _literally_ just told you we could go get breakfast.”

Sakura chuckled and turned towards him as she raised the cup to her mouth. “Just one cup before we go.”

Naruto rolled his eyes at her, but they were nothing but fond. “You’re an _addict_.”

“I am not.”

“Are too.”

Sakura laughed, something light dancing in his chest, and set the mug down in his sink. She conceded, “Maybe a little.”

Naruto laughed and it made her feel so warm, she bit back a smile as he slung an arm around her shoulders and led her out of the apartment.

***

Naruto looked terrified and he tried to cover it with a smile like always, which only made him look ridiculous and more than a little adorable. “It’s… it’s pretty big.”

Sakura leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. “It won’t feel so big after we get some furniture in here.”

That look in his eyes eased, and Sakura took it as a small victory.

“You’ll help me, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

***

Naruto’s body covered hers as a paper bomb went off and Sakura felt like her right ear was shot, only able to hear a ringing and her heart pounding in her veins. Naruto pulled back after a few seconds, his eyes searching around them before looking down at her. He glared at her and Sakura watched his mouth as he yelled, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Before she could respond, he was leaning back, his hand going to her left leg. Sakura saw the shimmer of metal to her left and then fisted her hands in Naruto’s vest before throwing him to her side, her arm stretching out to pin him down across his chest. A blade flew by, just inches above her breasts a second later.

Sakura looked in the direction it had came from and slammed her hand against the ground, creating a faulter that made someone curse in the distance. She was moving to her feet in an instant, gritting her teeth at the agonizing pain in her leg. Naruto’s hand grabbed her to jerk her back to him as he stood up. “Sakura, your leg is _broken_ – “

“Get _off_ me, Naruto!” Sakura ripped her arm away, her eyes hard when she glanced at him. He had an angry set to his lips and Sakura ignored the aching in her chest. She tried to sound less angry and added, “I’ll be _fine_.”

“Sakura – “

“Guys, now is _really_ not the time,” Kakashi’s voice cut Naruto’s reply off, panting just beside them. He glanced at Sakura after throwing a large shuriken to his right. “Sakura, can you keep going?”

“From here.” Sakura crouched down, mindful of her leg and scanned the field for the nearest enemy. She wasn’t a long-range fighter, but she could make it work.

Naruto cursed behind her but moved back into the fray.

***

“You don’t even have enough chakra to heal it.” Naruto let out a frustrated sigh as he wrapped Sakura’s leg.

She winced and held back the gasp of pain in her mouth as he tightened the bindings. She let out a breath after a moment. “Naruto, I’ll have enough in the morning.”

Naruto’s eyes went to hers and Sakura hated the guilt that gathered in her stomach at making him so upset. But she didn’t regret any of it. She couldn’t. She could’ve broken both her legs and she wouldn’t have regretted it.

He waved a hand at himself. “Sakura, you _know_ I heal faster – “

Sakura felt her jaw lock. “My _leg_ being _broken_ is not comparable to _your whole left side_ being _crushed_ , so you can stop that shit right now.”

Naruto huffed and looked down at her leg. He was quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts, then stood up. He muscles were still tense, his voice shaking with either anger or fear she couldn’t tell – probably a mixture of both. “I don’t want you taking _any_ hits for me, Sakura!”

“Well, I don’t care!”

“Don’t do it again.” She could hear the plea in his voice, the way his eyes begged her to agree. For them to stop fighting.

But she couldn’t make that promise.

“I won’t promise you anything.”

“Sakura – “

“Naruto, you’re not going to convince me to not try and protect you when I can. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? I would give – “

“ _Don’t_.” Naruto’s voice raised and he pointed a finger at her. His voice was definitely shaking now. “Don’t finish that sentence.”

Sakura felt her own chest shaking as she stared up at him. She fought for some steadiness to her voice as she spoke, “Naruto – “

He walked out of her tent and the silence that followed was louder than their voices had been.

***

Sakura didn’t leave her tent the rest of the evening, having been excused from taking a watch considering her leg was broken. Kakashi took some pity on her later and brought her some fish that Sai had cooked them. He didn’t say anything, but his hand on her shoulder had given her some comfort.

Sakura hadn’t cried more than a few tears after Naruto walked out, swiping angrily at her face with her hands and willing herself to calm down. Her thoughts were filled with him as she laid there, though, glaring at the flimsy walls of her tent. She was both relieved and annoyed when he slipped back inside hours later.

He was quiet as he walked over to her and sat down beside her. He kept his eyes on the pile of bloody medical supplies Sakura hadn’t had the energy to clean up yet. She watched him silently for a moment and then found it in herself to sit up, it was awkward and she had to take a deep breath when her leg protested even the slightest movement.

Naruto’s eyes went to her leg, the bandages barely visible at the edge of her blanket, and he told her in a low voice, “I don’t want to fight with you, Sakura.”

Sakura felt something loosen in her chest, but she still had a bitter taste in her mouth. “I don’t want to fight with you either, Naruto.”

“You just – “ Naruto leaned his forehead in his hand, propping his elbow up on his knee, and let out a breath. “You scare the hell out of me sometimes.”

“I don’t think you’re being very fair.” Sakura tore her eyes away from his face. Her voice was almost soft, but really, she was only tired. “I had to watch you repeatedly tell Sasuke you would die for him, _by_ him if it meant saving him. And you can’t accept the fact that I would sacrifice myself for you?”

Naruto sighed, his voice thick. He wouldn’t look at her either, closing his eyes as he rubbed his forehead. “I don’t want you to do that.”

Sakura felt a humorless laugh leave her as her eyes started to burn. “Well, I don’t want you to either, but you can’t tell me you would never consider it, can you?”

Naruto didn’t reply and it was answer enough. Sakura looked over at him and he turned his head to meet her eyes. Sakura felt something twist inside her as his expression broke. His hands were on her face a second later, his thumbs stroking across her skin as he gave her a heartbreaking smile. “Oh, Sakura-chan, please don’t cry.”

Sakura blinked at him confused as her heart went out of rhythm. She leaned back and brought a hand up to her face, then looked down at her wet fingertips. _Since when had she been crying?_ She felt herself mumble with a small chuckle, “Sorry.”

Naruto sighed, his arms moving down to her arms as his head fell to her shoulder. Sakura leaned her head against his, her fingers coming up to comb through his hair. They were quiet, not saying anything else and Sakura closed her eyes at some point. Time seemed to slow down as her fingers went through his hair, Naruto’s breath ghosting her neck, his thumbs stroking across her skin soothingly.

Kakashi eventually peaked his head in for Naruto to switch out with him for watch. Naruto gave her a small smile and then left without another word.

He slept in her tent that night and Sakura’s fingers itched to reach out for him. She felt like the only reason she didn’t was the pain she felt anytime she shifted her hips. She wondered if her leg hadn’t been broken if she would’ve had enough self-control to not crawl into his arms.

***

Sakura opened her door to find Naruto with a bag hanging from his shoulders and a nervous smile. She felt herself smile as she leaned against the doorway. “What’s up, Naruto?”

Naruto rubbed the back of his head and asked her with a shy smile, “Would you mind helping me study?”

Sakura felt her heart swell in her chest and moved away from the doorway. Naruto followed her inside, kicking his shoes off. Sakura told him, “I don’t know how much help I will be. Not really my area. I only know some things from being around Tsunade-shishou whenever I help out around her office and I’m sure you already know more than that.”

Naruto shrugged, his smile so warm when he looked at her. “You just being nearby will help.”

Sakura snorted as her stomach flipped. She turned towards her kitchen. “Tea?”

“Sure,” Naruto said and then went to her living room. Sakura could hear him setting himself up on her couch, spreading out his books across her coffee table. It gave her a fuzzy feeling seeing him so comfortable in her home, his things laid out next to hers. She then felt ridiculous and knocked the thought away with reddening cheeks.

Sakura made them tea, adding milk and sugar to Naruto’s the way he liked. She was about to leave the kitchen when she decided to grab the plate of lemon squares she’d made earlier, wondering if Naruto had eaten yet.

She made space on the table in front of him to lay down the tea and plate, then sat on the other end. Naruto grabbed his mug and turned to lean back against the armrest, propping his feet up in her lap. “Thanks, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura hummed in response and curled herself up in the corner as Naruto read over a book. Sakura grabbed a magazine from her side table and looked over it while she waited for Naruto to need her. He was sighing moments later, tugging on his hair in frustration. She could see him mouthing the words to himself repeatedly and held back a laugh.

She set her magazine down and let her hand fall to Naruto’s calf. “Naruto?”

Naruto glanced up at her in question and she told him, “What about reading it out loud? Maybe it’ll help, like you’re trying to explain it to me.”

Naruto smiled and sunk further down into the couch, making himself comfortable. “Alright. It’s mainly just memorization. Tsunade-baachan keeps reminding me that knowing all the history of the lords is just as important as the laws.” He gave her a warning look and added with a teasing grin, “I will most definitely bore you.”

Sakura laughed and shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

Sakura leaned her head against the couch, one hand on her mug and the other stroking over the skin of Naruto’s ankle, and listened to his history lesson. She loved how animated he could get, glancing down to read, then looking at her with a grin and waving his hands around as he told her all the stupid drama of their fire lords. Sakura felt warm watching him, knowing he enjoyed this a lot more than he let on.

He waggled a finger at her and told her in a conspiring voice, “But what the book _doesn’t_ tell you is the illegitimate son came _back_ and he – “

_He definitely could never bore her._

He snacked on the lemon squares as he talked and at some point, Sakura reached out for one herself. She took a bite and then twisted her lips as she swallowed. Naruto paused in his story watching her grimace. She raised an eyebrow at him, then glanced down at her failure of a baking adventure. “Naruto, these are so _sour_. How the hell are you eating them?”

Naruto shrugged with a soft look in his eyes as he grabbed another one. He looked back down to his book as he told her, “I like your cooking, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura rolled her eyes at him with an affectionate smile. Her chest felt incredibly tight when he finished the plate.

Sakura fell asleep at some point, probably around when Naruto switched to laws and codes – _that stuff was drier than her medical terminology_ _books_ – and she only realized it when she felt herself being lifted from the couch. She was about to open her eyes when her mind reminded her it was only Naruto and she relaxed into his arms. She turned her face into his chest, vaguely hearing a soft chuckle in her half-asleep state. 

He laid her down in her bed and pulled the covers over her. She turned on her side and nuzzled her face into her pillow, quickly going back to sleep.

She imagined him kissing the seal on her forehead before he slipped back out of the room.

***

Sakura never said it, but she hated it when Naruto went on diplomatic missions. She’d gotten too used to always having him within her reach. They were usually in the village at the same time, maybe not always free for each other, but if she needed him, she could find him. Though their team sometimes went out on individual missions and with other shinobi, they were together more often than not.

She hated him being away, but she never thought she needed to _worry_ about him when he left.

“ _One_ fight and you managed to screw up your arm?” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him as she tinkered with the prosthetic. Her chest was shaking but it wasn’t with worry. Different scenarios were playing over in her head like a living nightmare. _What if his arm had stopped working completely? What if the enemy had been a little more skilled than some low rate bandits? What if it had been on higher ranked mission? What if –_

Naruto chuckled and she could feel his eyes on her. “Sakura-chan, it wasn’t even that bad. I probably hit a nerve in it or some kind of weak spot. It wasn’t like I couldn’t use it, it just hurt.”

_There wasn’t supposed to be any weak points._

_How had she managed to fail even at this?_

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek as she jerked his arm this way and that. “I’ll send for Tsunade-shishou to look at it. I must’ve messed up somewhere.”

Naruto sighed. “No, you didn’t. You said so yourself when you made it, this is a prototype. There’s bound to be hang ups like this.”

Sakura ignored him, refusing to agree or even look at him as she worked.

She was wrapping it in new bandages, hoping they would hold it together better and _protect any weak points_. A medic had come in earlier and told them, Tsunade was too busy at the moment to come by. Sakura made a mental note to badger her about it later in case she forgot. Maybe she could –

Naruto let out a soft laugh and told her in a quiet voice, “You’re weird, you know that, Sakura?”

Sakura looked at him for the first time in thirty minutes, thrown off by the statement. She couldn’t even muster up any annoyance. “What?”

Naruto had that _look_ in his eyes and Sakura instantly regretted even glancing at him. It was probably barely noticeable to other people, such a subtle change. But Sakura had known Naruto for years and could tell when he was about to tell someone he knew all the walls they put up. She hated it – _at least when it was directed at her._

Naruto looked down at the hand she had on his arm, his voice softer than before. “You never seem to have any trouble being rough with me. You’ll beat me into the ground during training. Throw my body a dozen meters away out of some crossfire. Even here, you’re not very gentle.”

Sakura could fee something rising in her throat, a bitter emotion that she swallowed down. Her pulse was increasing, and she tried to not think about how it throbbed in the bottom of her throat.

Her voice wasn’t even close to being as soft as his and she prompted him irritably – _defensively_ , “Yeah, so what?”

Naruto met her eyes again and the concern there felt like a blade to her throat. “But sometimes you look at me like – like you’re afraid you’ll break me.”

Sakura felt her breath hitch in her chest and she stubbornly looked away from him, to the too white sheets on the hospital bed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Sakura.”

Sakura ignored him and dropped her hand from his arm, but he only reached back out for it and held it tightly. He was still sore, so she knew it must’ve hurt and it was such a bittersweet feeling that he did it anyways, not even wincing.

“Sakura, please look at me.”

Sakura obeyed more because of the tug on her heart than the one on her hand. Naruto’s smile was so kind, so loving and warm. He told her barely above a whisper, “You’re not going to break me.”

Sakura’s nerves were on edge and her heart was pounding painfully against her ribcage. She could hear it in her ears. It was so loud, and she couldn’t think straight. Her eyes fell away from his to the hand he had gripping hers. She more watched than felt his thumb rubbing soothing circles into her skin.

“I – “ Sakura lost her nerve before she could even find it and pulled away from him. Naruto stood up from the bed as she stepped back, and she turned quickly towards the door. “I can’t – I can’t right now.”

The door closing behind her made her flinch, but she didn’t hesitate before turning down the hall. She’d worked in the hospital for so long, it was easy to move around all the busy bodies even with her thoughts in complete tangles. She heard a door open behind her and really it could’ve been any door, but she quickened her pace and turned around a corner.

He’d chased after her, because of course he had. She hadn’t made it hard for him to find her either, secluding herself in her office and breaking into a sob as soon as she sat down in her chair.

She heard him come in, how he closed and locked the door behind him with a soft click. She didn’t look up from where she had buried her face in her arms. He walked quietly over to her and she felt the air change near her as he knelt beside her chair. He laid a hand on her arm but didn’t pull on her.

“Sakura, talk to me.”

Sakura shook her head like a stubborn child, imagining the way he would look down to the side as he thought of a different route. His voice sounded so heavy, but it didn’t waver, every word well thought out and honest. “Sakura, you’re not going to _break_ me. You never have. I don’t know what’s going on in your head. But I don’t want you to ever feel like you need to hold yourself back, not with me and especially not for me. I can handle whatever you want to give me.”

Sakura’s lungs wrenched the air back from her throat as she tried to breathe, and she moved an arm to wrap around her chest to ease the pain. She was so tired of it all, she wanted to give in. Better or worse. She was tired of feeling like she was balancing on the edge of a blade.

She swallowed thickly and tried to get the words out, her forehead still pressed against her arm.

“I love you.”

Naruto stilled. She didn’t have to look at him to know he had; she could feel it. Some tension eased along her ribs and she continued, desperate for more relief, “I’ve been in love with you for what feels like my whole life.”

Naruto’s hand moved to her elbow and with a gentle yank, she was out of her chair and into his arms. He caught her easily, his arms wrapping around her as he fell back to the wall behind him. She could feel the mesh of his shirt, realizing he hadn’t even bothered to grab his jacket before running after her. Sakura settled herself into his lap as she grabbed his face, meeting his eyes. They were wide as they looked back at her, such a beautiful blue. Sakura felt like she was almost on the verge of begging.

“You believe me, don’t you?” Sakura took a deep breath when her heart started to stutter. “Please, Naruto, I – “

He kissed her and it both stole her breath away as it gave her lungs some relief. It was rough, hard and intense, and ended shortly after it began. Naruto’s eyes were filled with something bright when they broke apart, his breathing off. One of his hands moved to her face, his smile as warm as the laugh that escaped him. “I believe you, Sakura. Why would you – I’ve been in love with you for as long as I’ve _known_ you. You _know_ that. Why didn’t you ever – “

Sakura’s head fell to his shoulder as her arms wrapped around his neck. Her heart was hammering in her chest, barely soothed by the hands on her. “I didn’t know if you still did.”

Naruto sighed and tightened his arms around her waist to hold her close. He leaned his head against hers. “Sakura, I never stopped.”

Sakura tried to even out her breathing as her grip on him tightened. He asked her softly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did and you didn’t believe me.” Her voice sounded so small and as soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to drag them back.

There was a pause and then he said, “That… that was – “

Sakura leaned back to look at him, a familiar pain in her chest. “Manipulative, I know, but I wasn’t _lying_. I shouldn’t have – I should have waited. I – I had known you might figure out _why_ I was telling you then but the instant _disbelief_ on your face. I – Naruto, I’m – “

Naruto raised his hand to slide through her hair and to the back of her head, bringing her forward until their foreheads were touching. He was smiling at her, his eyes serious as they held hers. “Sakura, I forgave you for that a long time ago.”

Sakura closed her eyes as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her throat was thick as she said, “I hurt you.”

She was relieved when he didn’t deny it and told her, “You didn’t mean to and I got over it, Sakura. I _love_ you, that has _never_ changed.”

Sakura felt some of that pain leave her, his words chipping away at some of the guilt that had cemented itself between the spaces of her ribs. There was still a thread of fear around her heart, though. “I don’t want to ever hurt you.”

Naruto chuckled and it filled her lungs with warmth. “I think that’s kind of inevitable, Sakura. We’re going to mess up sometimes. You’re going to hurt me and I’m going to hurt you. But we’re going to get through it.”

Sakura felt herself smile and opened her eyes to see that soft smile of his. “Yeah?”

He nodded and told her against her lips, “Yeah.”

Sakura felt like she might fall apart from the way he kissed her, how tender is was, how _full_ it made her feel. When he sighed between kisses, she thought she might actually melt into his arms. “I love you so much.”

***

“Popsicles?” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him as they walked. She hadn’t questioned it when they were on their way to the cemetery and Naruto wanted to stop at the store for something. She was a little surprised, though, when he came out with a couple popsicles.

Naruto had a small smile on his face, slipping his hand into hers as they left the convenience store. He glanced up at the sky as he swung the bag idly in his left hand. “He always used to split them with me. I don’t know.” He shrugged and glanced at her with a sad chuckle. “I do this every year.”

Sakura had always gone with Naruto to visit Jiraiya, but she was now realizing there was a separate visit where he went by himself. It made her heart ache that he seemed to want to change that. She smiled at him and then held out a hand. “Let me see one.”

Naruto let go of her hand to pull one out and handed it to her. Sakura unwrapped it and reached over to drop the trash in the bag. She broke the pair in half and gave him the other. Naruto’s eyes glossed over as his fingers grabbed the stick, but no tears fell. He let the bag slide to his elbow as he moved the popsicle to his other hand so he could reach out for her. He didn’t say anything as his arm wrapped around her waist, but Sakura could feel the sentiment from the kiss he pressed into her cheek.

***

When Naruto asked her to move in with him it had been during a fight. It was a stupid fight and Sakura still thought that if she hadn’t been so overworked at the hospital, she wouldn’t have even started it.

But she was so _annoyed_ at how she could never find _anything_ in his fridge.

“It’s ridiculous!” Sakura slammed the fridge door after not being able to find a _carton of eggs_. She was amazed at how much he could pack into the damn thing.

Naruto rubbed at his temples from the kitchen table he’d been sitting at, reading over some proposal for Tsunade. He sighed. “No, it isn’t, Sakura-chan, you just have to _look_.”

Sakura just wanted to make him something to _eat_. She barely saw him with everything Tsunade was starting to pile on him as she got ready to retire. “It’s _disgusting_. It’s a _mess_. You _never_ clean it out. I found milk in here that expired a _month_ ago – “

Naruto rolled his eyes at her and waved his hand as he stood up, stepping towards her. “I just _forgot_ to throw it out – “

_Forgot?_ He just _forgot_ to throw it out? Sakura turned on him with a glare and crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you _ever_ going to grow up?”

Naruto huffed and pointed a finger at her, some agitation slipping into his voice. “Hey! That’s not – look I’ve just been – “

Sakura looked back to the fridge and waved a hand. “I mean _look_ at this, Naruto. I can’t even – “

Naruto looked at her exasperated and held out his hands. “You don’t even _live_ here! Why does it bother you so much?”

Sakura felt something clawing at her throat and reminded herself to calm down. She sighed. “I _know_ I don’t live here. That’s not the –“

Naruto continued talking like she hadn’t even spoken. “But you’re here _all_ the time, anyway. You usually sleep here. I cook you breakfast in the morning before your shifts at the hospital. _All_ your clothes are here – “

Sakura rolled her eyes and started to mumble, “ _All_ of my clothes are not – “

“Your stuff is mixed with my stuff. I was halfway out of the village last week when I realized I accidently grabbed _your_ pack. There’s pink hair on the couch and in the shower drain. And you’re here, complaining about my _fridge_ , so why don’t you just move in already?” Naruto finished with a breath as he looked at her.

Sakura’s eyes widened and she felt her arms fall to her sides. “What?”

His chest was rising and falling beneath his shirt as he breathed. She watched as a grin grew on his face and he repeated, “Move in with me.”

Sakura fought back a laugh, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. She raised an eyebrow. “ _That’s_ how you want to ask me?”

Naruto chuckled and reached out for her hips. Sakura went willingly as he pulled her towards him as he sat on the edge of the table. He kissed her, his hands sneaking under her shirt. He whispered near her ear, “Move in with me and you can complain about the fridge as much as you like.”

_Naruto was so ridiculous, and she loved him so much._

Sakura laughed, her arms moving to loop around his neck. She kissed him with a sigh. “I know that doesn’t mean you’ll start keeping it clean.”

He shrugged and kissed her cheek, before pulling back to meet her eyes. She was weak for the tenderness there. “I’ll try.”

“Okay.”

***

Sakura was laughing as he pulled on her hand. “ _Naruto_ – “

He had that wide smile on his face and jerked his head. “Come on already.”

Sakura rolled her eyes at him but couldn’t fight the smile on her face, not that she wanted to. She felt giggles in her lungs as she told him, “People do this with their _kids_ , not their – “

He scoffed. “I don’t care.”

Sakura chuckled but stopped arguing for show and slipped her legs over his shoulders. He held on to her hands as he stood up, then dropped one once they were steady. Sakura felt some of her laughter subside as she interlaced their fingers together. She teased him, “You’re ridiculous.”

He sighed happily as he started to walk, and Sakura had to admit she always liked how fun he was. “You love me.”

“I do.” Sakura smiled, something she would never even playfully argue about. She stroked a finger lovingly along his wedding band, her heart beating happily in her chest. Naruto squeezed her hand back and then brought her hand to his mouth for a kiss.

They turned around a corner and Naruto looked over at couple civilians giving them fond looks. He waved at them, making his hat hitting her stomach. Sakura chuckled. “Naruto, your hat is too big for me to sit on your shoulders like this.”

Naruto took the hat off and held it up to her. “Then, you wear it.”

“I am not wearing the _Hokage’s_ hat.” She laughed even as her fingers reached out for it.

She could tell by his voice that he was rolling his eyes at her, wiggling the hat. “It’s fine, Sakura- _sama_.”

Sakura felt more than a little silly but slipped the hat on to her head. It swallowed her, but she figured the weight of it would keep it from falling off. She leaned forward to kiss the top of his head. “I hate when people call me that. _I’m_ not the Hokage.”

Naruto laughed and told her, “Kakashi told me my mom used to say the same thing when people did it to her. I think you’re going to have to get used to it.”

Sakura gave him a dramatic sigh, but her smile was soft as she said, “I guess so.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a comment and letting me know!


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